Scheiße Tag!!

There are days, as today for me, when we feel too frail to bear the hardness of the life. I want to scream to the world, this passion which breaks me the heart day by day. It would have been so simple to talk about that to my mom as before, …. As before this wretched disease.

And the death of the actress Annie Girardot today for the same wretched disease, remember tonight that these patients don't live very old. I crack up completely tonight.

I so need love! I so need your love. I am Alien!

Today, Humanoid footing with Bill !!!!!!

AND yes, I went my Humanoid jogging today with Bill. He withstood very well 1hour and 30 minutes of running. At the end, he was quite wet by sweat... Yes OK! It was my sweat!!!
My sweat on Bill!!!! ... Mmmh... I am going to take a shower, it's better!!


To speak more seriously!! Many persons speak about Bill as a very frail person. I think that Bill is rather a very strong and rather sturdy person physically. To assure 30 concerts within 2 months, it is also a big physical performance.

Sorry for sunglasses, but I have just run during one hour and 30 minutes, without make-up obviously.

The shadow of the wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Hidden in the heart of the old city of Barcelona is the 'cemetery of lost books', a labyrinthine library of obscure and forgotten titles that have long gone out of print. To this library, a man brings his 10-year-old son Daniel one cold morning in 1945. Daniel is allowed to choose one book from the shelves and pulls out LA SOMBRA DEL VIENTO by Julian Carax.

But as he grows up, several people seem inordinately interested in his find. Then, one night, as he is wandering the old streets once more, Daniel is approached by a figure who reminds him of a character from LA SOMBRA DEL VIENTO, a character who turns out to be the devil. This man is tracking down every last copy of Carax's work in order to burn them. What begins as a case of literary curiosity turns into a race to find out the truth behind the life and death of Julian Carax and to save those he left behind. A page-turning exploration of obsession in literature and love, and the places that obsession can lead.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marie ----
I liked so much this book, and especially stories of impossible love. I like letter of Pénélope to Julian. When I read it, I had the feeling of writting it for a special person.
" ... I want nothing else in this world that to know you happy, Julian, that everything that you aspire to become reality and that even if you forget me over time, you may understand one day how much I loved you .. ..."
Bea to Daniel :
" ... I think that nothing arrives by chance. That in fact things follow a hidden plan, even if we do not understand it. ..."
The doctor and the character of the novel.
" ....
- From what does he suffer?*
- I could say to you that it is of the heart, but he dies from solitude. The memories are the worse than bullets.
..."
Nuria Monfort in her last letter.
"... Of all the things which Julian wrote, the one of which I always felt the closest is that we remain alive as long as somebody remembers us..... "

1 year ago, today: The beginning of the tour Humanoid.

1 year ago, I discovered the stage of the tour Humanoid for the first time in Luxembourg. I remember very well this magic moment, when the lights went out.
I was ready to record the first song. I had bought 16 tickets for 16 concerts of this tour. And before the curtain falls I said myself: " and if I don't like this show??? "
All my hotels were reserved. I attended the first 10 dates of the tour. I had also reserved flights for Scandinavia. Before the curtain falls, I was afraid.
Then the curtain fell and the Humanoid ball appeared. At this moment, I understood that this show would be exceptional. I was the happiest fan of the world.
My only regret today is not to have attended all the tour dates.

Dangerous Liaisons

When I fell under the spell of Bill Kaulitz in 2007, I did not want to believe in it. I wanted to know more about him in the only purpose to find the fault. No this 17-year-old boy could not move me deeply so. There was necessarily a problem.

Then I examined his life, his tastes, his passions.. AND more I looked, more I discovered somebody who had the same passions as me, the same desires, the same way of seeing the life … Today in 2011, I don't still have to find the error. I thus have to stop looking. I believe that there is not.

And in a recent interview, given in Tokyo, 2 weeks ago, Bill says that the movie " Dangerous Liaisons ", movie of 1988 (he wasn't even born) is one of his favorite movies.
This movie, I watched it several times in 1988 in the cinema. I have the DVD that I have watched hundreds of time. I read the book several times. I am a fan of this movie.

The described feelings are there so strong and violent at once. Madam de Tourvel's passion for the Viscount of Valmont touches me so much. She died to have loved this man, because this liaison had no way out. I sometimes have the feeling to be "Madam de Tourvel" in this world, with an ardent passion which burns me the heart and which can lead only to a liaison more than dangerous.

Read tonight that this movie is one of Bill's favorite movies, it almost frightens me. I had still never met a person with tastes (with passions) so close as mine.
I had felt at once it in 2007. I never made a mistake about him.

Come back from my Humanoid footing

Every Sunday, when I am at home, I was going to run at around midday in the wood of Vincennes with my ipod and always the live of the tour Humanoid of Tokio Hotel. I run by listening to the CD live in its entirety, approximately 1 hour and 20 minutes.
When I ended my jogging this morning, I made some stretchings on the song " Hurricanes and Suns ". And I began to sing aloud.
" ......
see the halo ha ha halo
come pain
come hurt see the halo ha ha halo
He he hey he he hey
..."
A jogger who was running next to me, smiled me and said: "It is really nice ....". I just answered: "Yes I know this song is really beautiful ..". I don't know if he knew I sang a song of Tokio Hotel.


I like running in the woods sometimes. That air my head. While I run I think about many things. And it's at this moment that the ideas come in my mind about my site,my work, or my life in general ... I always feel better after.

back to Paris

I was back from Berlin. I like very much Berlin. I find that it is an extraordinary city. There are so many things to be made in this city. But if I had to live in Germany, I would like to live in Hanover. I like the atmosphere of Hanover.
I have a professional project which could allow me to work between Paris, Munich, Hanover and Hamburg, for 2012. But for that, I absolutely have to work my German. I am going to make some weekend only in Germany this year to speak as much as possible in German ( not English). I need professional change. I especially need to move.

While I'm focused at work, I forget the pains of love! For a moment!

To work on my German, I found this magazine : "Paris Berlin".

The news about Germany are written in French and the news about France are written in German. This magazine talks about any subject (political, social, culture, music, cinema ...), all the news Franco-German. Ich liebe Paris. J'aime Berlin. Ich lese PARISBERLIN .

I was at home today. I took care of my pets. Bill got vaccinated at the vet. Now he sleeps, poor Bill. I brushed Lova for almost half an hour and I had to cut several nodes. Lova loves brushing.

Tom has slept almost all day. It will be on top tonight to wake me up. Tom is Simon's cat. Really! If you don't know, watch this video and you can understand my problem every night :

2nd day in Berlin!

Paul and I, we are real tourists: museums, 2 hours by bus to discover the city, the shopping (It is absolutely indispensable in all the countries.)... I like very much spending time only with Paul. My son Paul is an adorable and very kind boy.

At the end of the day, we were very hungry.... Mmmh, Donuts

It is also the day of Valentine's Day today. This photo is symbolic for me. He is the only person to whom I wanted to wish an happy Valentine's Day. I hope simply that he is happy. The rest does not matter.

Valentine's Day

Today, 1st day in Berlin, Es ist kalt !!

I am in Berlin for a few days with Paul. It is really very cold. Just a small walk today.





Photos shooting in the bathroom of my hotel room ( Novotel Mitte). I play with the light. I have fun. (I 'm tired! I know)

This look! This face!

I could spend the rest of my life to contemplate this photo. This look! These eyes! I so like the expression of this face, I so love what emerges from this boy. I can't tonight remove my eyes from this photo.

9 february - My birthday , Wahou

On February 09th, it's the day of my birthday. And I remember me of this day in 2008. On February 09th, 2008, I was in Montreal, for the first concert of Tokio Hotel on the American, Canadian continent.
I wanted to be there on this first date. I wanted that the boys know that I would support them all around the world. I had no ticket for the concert and it was sold-out. But magically, the cashdesk opened to sell 10 tickets just 1 hour before the beginning of the concert.
It was -7°C in Montreal, but this day was really wonderful.



And on this February 09th, 2011, the boys sing in Tokyo. They are magnificent. Bill is so cute.

Collector Bowie - Really brilliant

Vibrations Collector has just published a special number David Bowie. I discovered it by chance this morning by going to my work. A complete biography and magnificent photos.
It arrives at the right time to help me to forget that I would like to be in Tokyo now. And then it's also my birthday on February 09th.

Ich habe meine 2 Katzen an meiner Seite heute Abend, aber diesen kleinen Kater vermisse ich so sehr.

Dark side of the sun - Hairdresser - Zumba

Saturday with the music of the album " Dark side of the sun ". I try to impose at home the music of Tokio Hotel in front of those of all these Korean groups (Shinee, CNBlue ... ). Julie lost her head. These bands interest me in no way!. Bands of guys who dance and sing without playing really music. Not for me! Thus I listen to Tokio Hotel.

I need a dedication on this album. I have one of every album of Tokio Hotel which is dedicated. With the exception of the Best Of and of this last album from Japan. One day I hope.
My most beautiful dedication is the one of Bill on the text of Totgeliebt. I so wanted this signing in 2007.
I like this Bill's photo in the booklet of the album Dark side of the sun! Magnificent!

I visited my hairdresser this morning. He is brilliant I like what he makes every time. He is Italian. He cuts my hair for 5 minutes and he speaks during the 1 hour (with hands obviously).
Another photo before I leave for Zumba of Saturday! I am addicted! (Waka, Waka, Waka ....)

Today - Dark side of the sun from Japan

I received the CD " Dark side of the sun " from Japan today. I am happy that the French post office did not steal it. We 'll speak another day of these problems of the thieves which work on the French post office.
I am happy as if I received my first album of Tokio Hotel. If you saw my CDs and DVDs of Tokio Hotel. I think that I could open a store. NO! Nothing is for sale.
The booklet of the album Dark side of the sun is magnificent, with Bill's magnificent photos! But just for me tonight! I confirm, the sound is excellent!!

I listen to David Bowie at the moment

I bought this box set of David Bowie in 2008 and I never took the time to really listen. I was too busy with Tokio Hotel, concerts, CDs ...
I put 5 CDs on my iPod and listen to a lot right now. I even managed not to listen to Tokio Hotel. It's a feat.
AND these 5 CDs by David Bowie are really good.


I received my CD " Dark side of the sun " from Japan (Deluxe version). Finally almost. For the moment, the sound is not very good. Lol

Tomorrow evening, the sound will be better! Of course! YEEEEESSSS !

Today online shopping, pancakes at home the Candlemas

I had a meeting in the South of Paris today. I come back early at home. Then I made shopping on internet. I cracked on the site of Gold Marie. I like this brand .
There is a store Gold Marie in Hamburg only. But I don't go there in the next days. I go just to Berlin on February 13th with Paul, my son, until February 16th.
I bought 2 T shirt, a hat, a scarf and 2 jewels. For once, I didn't buy leather jacket.
I resisted this magnificent Panther hanger. I like this jewel.

Personnel message to BK. If you want no more this jewel one day, thinks to me Baby.

This evening, I had time to prepare pancakes (crêpes in France) on the occasion of the Candlemas. It was very good.

I didn't still receive my CD " Dark side of the sun " from Japan. It was sent on Saturday, January 29th. Grrrr!! I am impatient.