????????????????? .......

2 people block me on social networks. 


The first blocks me on twitter for several years. We didn't agree about the definition of

freedom of speech. We had this conversation after he posted on twitter some photos of Tom K. and his girlfriend in the streets of LA.

 Then, I explained to him what meant the word "respect" he seemed unaware. He said that these published photos were promoting Bill and Tom during their breaks and he blocked me ... 

Another person blocks me on Instagram .. I don't know since when and why. I've never seen his pictures.
This person was a friend of the twins, especially close to Bill.
I thought at first that the account was private and he didn't accept the fans of Tokio Hotel. 

Then one day, I was logged with the instagram account of my dog and I saw the pictures of the friend of the twins. I understood that this person blocked me and I saw that fans of Tokio Hotel followed this account without problems.

 Today, it seems that they are not any more friends. But in 2014, this account has posted some photos of Bill. I didn't know what to do.
I wanted to send a message to this person via facebook, explaining that I just wanted to post these photos on my website and facebook page about Bill. I never got an answer .. I never posted these pictures .. 

And I never understood .. I was not OK at all .. 

I was scared at that time to see Bill again. I didn't eat any more. I didn't sleep any more.
I was afraid to make eye contact with Bill and read indifference. I was not ready for that .. not ready at all ..

When I went to the signing session in Paris on October 9, 2014, I thought that this session might be my last meeting with this group and especially with Bill. 

But I read only a soft heat and love in the eyes of Bill and of Tom.

I have a lot of unanswered questions in my mind about Bill ... and about me .. I sometimes feel that my head is going to explode .. 

  ..